caressingflames | your eyes look like coming home. [2/2]

your eyes look like coming home. [Kaisoo; pg; au]
twoshot.

Sometimes love decides to jump you when you're half asleep. Sometimes love decides to run to you in slow motion. Sometimes love just grows with you, on you, in you. Sometimes love just is.

Kyungsoo, aged 18. Jongin, aged 17.

‘Hey man, that Jongin guy – he’s your friend right?’ Baekhyun, a guy older than Kyungsoo by a year, asked. Kyungsoo nodded. Baekhyun’s expression darkened. ‘Then you better tell him to stay the hell away from my sister. I know his reputation, and I don’t like it one bit. Understand?’ Baekhyun’s nose was inches away from Kyungsoo’s, and the younger boy shuddered and nodded feebly.

Kyungsoo was shaken. He thought that he’d had enough to eat tonight, and decided to leave the café and head back to Room 804, the room he shared with Jongin in college. As he approached the door, he heard soft chuckles – Jongin’s, and a girl’s. Kyungsoo sighed. This had to be the fifth time this month Jongin brought a girl back to their room to have his way with her. Kyungsoo was growing tired of bunking in his friend Jongdae’s room.

Also, he got this annoying little stab of pain in the middle of his chest every time he went back to the room the morning after – only to catch Jongin’s latest conquest stumble clumsily out the door still in the previous night’s clothes, desperately reaching back into the room to pull Jongin in for a kiss.

Kyungsoo hated that Jongin always gave those girls the kisses goodbye they wanted.

Kyungsoo shoved the door open and flung the switch for the main lights. The girl squealed and rushed to cover herself up. Jongin was in his boxers. ‘Dude, what the hell?’ he asked, irritation badly masked in his voice. ‘Nothing, I was just tired and wanted to go to bed. Am I interrupting something? Who’s she?’ Kyungsoo’s voice feigned innocence perfectly.

‘Um –’ Jongin didn’t know the girl’s name. All he knew was that she was in his bed, practically naked, and he was just about to get to know her a whole lot better before Kyungsoo walked in. His hesitation, however, didn’t go unnoticed. ‘You… Don’t even remember my name?’ the girl asked. She held the sheets to her chest as she sat up and glared at him. ‘I…’ Jongin scratched the back of his neck. ‘Was it… Park… Something?’ he asked, raising his eyebrows and giving the girl a little half smile. ‘I can’t believe this,’ she said. She wrapped herself up in his blanket, grabbed her clothes off the floor and headed toward the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

‘Dude, what the hell was that?’ Jongin asked, angrily pulling on his pants. ‘What was what?’ Kyungsoo asked, trying to act indifferent to the pair of panties sitting on his pillow. ‘You know – the whole walking in thing. You’ve never done that before!’ Jongin said, snatching the underwear off the pillow and walking toward the bathroom. He knocked on the door and offered the girl her belongings before he got the door slammed in his face again.

‘I don’t know. Just bad luck for you tonight, I guess,’ Kyungsoo said. He picked up his pillow with two fingers and inched the pillowcase off it. He went to the wardrobe to find a fresh one. The bathroom door clicked open and the girl came out again. She headed straight for the door, hesitated a moment, turned to face Jongin, said, ‘My last name’s Byun, by the way, and I’m pretty sure yours is bastard,’ and rushed out.

‘See? God Kyungsoo, you screwed it up for me tonight.’ Jongin fell backward on his bed, clutching his face in his hands. Kyungsoo felt a sudden rush of anger. ‘Whatever, Jongin,’ he mumbled, pulling the fresh pillowcase out and over his pillow. He made a mental note to burn the other one. ‘What’s with the attitude?’ Jongin said, sitting up straight and looking right into Kyungsoo’s eyes.

‘It’s nothing. I just – forget it.’ Kyungsoo said, returning to his bed. He made it up perfectly. ‘No, I won’t forget it. What’s up with you?’ Jongin’s tone softened. Kyungsoo was finding it way too difficult to stay mad at Jongin now, especially since the latter had no shirt on. ‘I just – I mean you’re always bringing girls back to the room and I’m always having to go and spend the night over at Jongdae’s, and I don’t know it’s just… It’s getting old, I guess,’ Kyungsoo was shaking his head indecisively.

‘Why didn’t you ever say anything before?’ Jongin asked. ‘It’s your life, I can’t tell you how to live it. And I won’t start now. Look, if you want to have girls over just… I don’t know, not on my bed, and leave like a sock on the doorknob or something so I know not to come in,’ Kyungsoo said, pushing himself off the bed to go get something to change into to sleep in. He headed for the bathroom.

Kyungsoo turned on the tap and started wetting his toothbrush just as a pair of warm arms snaked their way around his waist and a tanned chin landed on his right shoulder. Kyungsoo frowned. ‘Jongin?’ he questioned. ‘I’m sorry,’ Jongin said, so softly that if he didn’t have his mouth right near Kyungsoo’s ear, he wouldn’t have heard it. Kyungsoo was standing unnaturally straight, all his attention focused on trying to slow his heartbeat. ‘It’s fine, Jongin, really,’ he could hear the rush of his own words, competing in a weird sort of race with his heartbeat.

‘No, it’s not,’ Jongin said, and buried his face in the shorter boy’s back. Kyungsoo’s eyes were wider than ever now, and he wondered if his heart’s erratic pace could be felt by Jongin. He was sure of it. ‘I won’t do it again, Kyungsoo,’ Jongin mumbled. ‘Okay, make sure you keep your word,’ Kyungsoo stuttered. ‘I will,’ Jongin whispered quietly into Kyungsoo’s back. It felt like an eternity before Jongin finally let go, patted Kyungsoo on the head and went to bed.

Kyungsoo didn’t get any sleep at all that night.

---

The rest of the academic year Kyungsoo spent in Jongin’s presence, except when they were in classes. It was just like the old days, seven or so years ago, and they were inseparable. Many, like Kris all those years ago, suspected there was something more behind their relationship. Jongin didn’t think so. Kyungsoo didn’t think so either, until…

‘What’s this?’ Kyungsoo asked. ‘Remember when we were younger, and you wanted that really weird looking spatula thing for your birthday, and I said I’d get it for you when we were in college together?’ Jongin asked, excitedly shoving a long box wrapped in shiny black paper at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo remembered the spatula very well – he’d been fascinated by it back when he was ten – but he didn’t remember the promise Jongin was talking about. Also, he’d sort of lost track of dates – it was his 19th birthday today. Which meant it was going to be Jongin’s 18th the day after next.

Kyungsoo hastily unwrapped the present, pulling out the gift and marveling at it. He also saw a little note written a really long time ago, in what looked like nine-year-old Jongin’s handwriting. ‘Today I promised to buy my best friend that weird spatula he wants, when we get to college together. I’m scared I’ll forget, but I hope I won’t. Happy birthday, Kyungsoo hyung!’ the note said. It was signed, very messily, Kim Jongin. Kyungsoo smiled to himself. ‘You like it?’ Jongin asked. ‘I love it.’ Kyungsoo nodded, carefully putting his gift back into its box and neatly folded up the wrapping paper, as well. ‘That’s good. I have class now Kyung, I’ll see you in a bit!’ Jongin said. He dashed off toward a building, his backpack bouncing on his bag as he ran.

That was the day Do Kyungsoo fell in love with Kim Jongin.

---

‘I thought you promised you wouldn’t do this anymore.’ Kyungsoo’s voice was low and dangerous.
‘Do what?’ the innocence in Jongin’s voice was real this time, but Kyungsoo didn’t know it.
‘Have girls over!’
‘Kyung, I swear to god, she’s my project partner. Shouldn’t that be okay?’
‘Yeah, project partner, sure,’
‘What the hell Kyung, she really is! You have no right to overreact like this!’
‘Oh I’m sorry, am I supposed to just lie down and take the fact that you broke a promise to me?’
‘What part of she’s my project partner do you not understand?’
‘The part where you’re lying to me!’
‘I’m not lying to you for frick’s sake! She’s just my project partner, I’m not trying to get into her pants!’
‘Oh wow, Kim Jongin, not trying to get into a girl’s pants? That’s news to me,’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘That I still think you’re lying.’
‘And I think you’re overreacting. Lay off, Kyungsoo. It’s my life, you said it yourself. I can spend time with whoever I want; it’s not as if you’re my boyfriend or anything.’

That was the day Kyungsoo stopped sleeping in room 804, and got more acquainted with Jongdae’s floor.

---

Kyungsoo was back in 804, gathering a couple of things he needed for the night. Just as he was about to pack up and leave, he heard footsteps echoing in the hallway. Heavy, lethargic but precise footsteps. Jongin’s footsteps. He knew he was being childish by avoiding Jongin, but he threw all his things in his bag nevertheless, and shoved it under his bed, switching off all the lights and hiding out in the bathroom.

Jongin unlocked the door and stepped inside. ‘Shoes?’ he said to himself. Kyungsoo swore at his own stupidity. He left his shoes by the door! A couple of moments later, Jongin’s voice floated softly through the crack in the bathroom door into Kyungsoo’s ears. And thoughts came straight to his head without him even consciously thinking them.

‘Kyungsoo? Are you there?’

I love you.

‘Could you maybe quit playing games with me and stop hiding from me?’

I love you not.

‘Look, if you’re mad at me, I’m sorry, alright? I’m really, really sorry.’

I love you.

‘We can’t all be perfect poster boys like you, now can we?’

I love you not.

Pause.

‘Kyungsoo, please come back. I miss you.’

I love you.

Kyungsoo opened the bathroom door and found Jongin sitting cross legged, on the floor in front of it. ‘Kyung, I’m so sorry, I know how it looked and I -’ Kyungsoo silenced the younger boy with a hug tighter than he’d ever given him in all their sixteen years of acquaintanceship. ‘I miss you too.’ Kyungsoo said. His voice, usually so melodious, was now an even sweeter sound, filled with emotion.

Later that night, after Kyungsoo collected his things from Jongdae’s room, the boys lay in their respective beds, trying to sleep.

Jongin shifted on his bed, turning on his side to face Kyungsoo.

‘Hey Kyung?’ he called softly, propping himself up on one elbow. ‘Mm?’ Kyungsoo murmured, turning his head to face Jongin. ‘Remember that time I said I thought I was in love with that Eun girl?’ Jongin asked. Kyungsoo didn’t even try to mask his disgust as he rolled his eyes back towards the ceiling, making noises of ascension. ‘I don’t think I was.’

‘Okay.’

‘Kyung?’ Jongin called again. ‘Yeah?’ Kyungsoo said, giving his friend a look. ‘How do you know when you’re really in love?’ the naivety in Jongin’s voice was so endearing to Kyungsoo that he actually turned his body to face Jongin and pulled his blankets all the way up to his chin, pouting a little to show that he was really contemplating his next words.

‘I guess you just know. Like if you’re with the person, you want to prolong that time because nothing else and nobody else makes you feel as good. And if you haven’t seen the person in a while, it kind of makes you physically upset. And if you’re fighting with the person, you kind of wish you can take back all the mean things you said as you’re saying them. And you’re willing to go to the ends of the earth and back just to get a smile on that person’s face. I guess that’s what it means to really be in love.’ Kyungsoo answered. Jongin seemed satisfied with Kyungsoo’s response and flopped himself flat on his bed again.

‘Goodnight Jongin.’ Kyungsoo said. He got no reply, and assumed Jongin was already asleep. Just as he felt his own eyelids begin to close for the night, he was interrupted, once more, by his roommate. ‘Kyung?’ Jongin said again. Kyungsoo grunted in reply.

‘I’m… Pretty sure…’ he said, before trailing off. Kyungsoo just wanted to get to sleep already, but knew Jongin needed to get something off his chest. And until that was done, he wouldn’t allow Kyungsoo to sleep. ‘What is it?’ he asked, irritably.

‘I’m in love with you.’ Jongin muttered.

Kyungsoo’s eyes flew open, any pretense of sleep lost. His heart had picked up its pace again. He wasn’t sure how to respond, he was barely sure he heard Jongin right at all. ‘Did you say something?’ Kyungsoo tried relaxing his voice, but it came out an octave higher than his usual speaking tone.

‘I said I’m in love with you.’ Jongin repeated. Kyungsoo smiled.

‘I’m in love with you too, Jongin.’