just a dream.
Dec. 22nd, 2010 11:59 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
just a dream. [Minho x OC; pg-13]
oneshot.
I was thinking 'bout her, thinking 'bout me, thinking 'bout us, what we gonna be? Open my eyes, yeah - it was only just a dream.
I was wrapping up one of the Lucifer practices. I loved the song. It was an awesome track and it gave me the chance to prove myself not only as a rapper, but as a singer and dancer too. Everyone knows my moves in Juliette were nothing short of nothing and Ring Ding Dong wasn't that good for me either. The moves in Lucifer were ten times harder, at least and I wanted to get them perfect. Especially for the GDAs. Yep, award season came around again and we're performing Lucifer. The song did really well back when it was first released and is still doing good. We recieved lots of compliments and praise. But like I said, the moves in Lucifer are really something else. Needless to say, everyone was tired. One by one, the five of us wiped our sweat on our towels and left the dance studio.
Sweat stained the shirt I was wearing and the smell on me was - let's just not go there. I took my shirt off and stuffed it in a plastic bag. Key always nagged if you didn't put your dirty laundry in plastic bags. He never complained about actually doing the laundry, everything from loading the washing machine to ironing Taemin's school uniform, so we did as he told. I got into the shower and turned the water on. Cold water pelted me, refreshing me and waking my tired nerves. My very bones seemed to have drooped today.
I got out of the shower and toweled off. I tossed all my stuff into my duffel bag and swung it over my shoulder. Exiting the locker room, I looked up and down the hallway. Where to now? 'Minho? You want to walk back to the dorm together?' Key's voice. He was right behind me. I turned around to face him. 'I'm just going to go for a walk, clear my mind and all that.' I said. I wanted to smile at him, but my mouth grimaced instead. Key nodded. Was it just me, or was his smile decidedly more sympathetic than it usually was? I walked away.
Once outside the SM building, I walked toward the park. It was evening, just about starting to get dark. 'Oppa!' a girl's voice shrieked. I looked in her direction, smiled and waved and went on my way. I opened my bag, searching for my cap. I put it on and zipped my bag off. I didn't bother to look down or anything. Almost everyone I knew was shorter than me. Looking at the ground like an idiot everywhere I went would only make me look more suspicious.
'Like the Eiffel Tower, her beauty reigns supreme. Yet she cannot hide, she can never escape the spying eyes of the public.' her voice, saying those words. She was great with words. Her fingers carressed my cheek, her eyes looking into mine. The way she looked at me made me feel naked, exposed - like she was scouring my face for something but wasn't quite sure herself what it was. Her lips, her smile.
I shook my head. Now was not the time to remember all those little moments I shared with her. There was never a suitable time for anyone to address their first real heartbreak. And believe me, she was a real heartbreak. I walked on to the tiny bridge that stood over a pond. The pond was about ten feet in length on either side, but was uneven. Standing on the bridge, I watched as the fish swam by. I brought my hand up to massage the back of my neck.
My new haircut exposed the back of my neck. In a way, I was relieved to see my Ring Ding Dong hair gone. It was really far too long and was starting to make it hard for me to carry out my schedule. I couldn't concentrate on much, especially when I filmed Dream Team.
'Yah, Minho! Why don't you just cut it off?' her fingers were in my hair, softly pulling it into a tiny ponytail. I hated ponytails. Especially on me. 'You know manager hyung would eat me alive!' I said. I didn't say any more as she finally managed to tie up my hair. She stepped away from me. 'You look like a pabo.' she said. Her voice was void of emotion, no shame or anger. I smiled and put my arms around her waist. 'And you look beautiful.' I murmured. Her expression didn't change. 'Yah, you should leave. It's time for you to start filming, almost.' she said, releasing herself from my grip. 'I'm lucky I'm the pabo of such a beautiful lady.' I said, ignoring her comment. I smiled a small smile and left.
No, not anymore. I couldn't take the reminders the water, the park, the kids and not to mention the happy couples out and about held for me. I broke into a run. Screw laying low, I needed to get back to the dorm. It was either that or get driven crazy staying out here. I ran all the way back to the dorm, slamming the door open to the astonishment of Onew hyung. 'Had a nice walk?' Onew hyung asked, quite politely.
The look on my face, I could feel was not very polite. I struggled with myself. Key walked in. He took one look at me and left the room again, just before I walked past Onew hyung. I went into my room and sprawled out on my bed. I stared at the ceiling. My room was a safe place. She had never been in here. The only thing that was on my mind was how much I needed for her to get out of it. I turned over to lie on my stomach, burying my head in my pillow. Hey, wait a minute. Why does my pillowcase smell so much like her shampoo?
Damn that Key. Why can't he just stick to one detergent and leave it at that? Why was he so fickle minded? Why did he have to be the one in charge of the laundry? Why...
Why was my heart hurting again?
Were those - tears blurring my vision? I couldn't even see straight anymore. This... This was wrong. She left me months ago. She left me with no reason to miss her. Yet... Yet, I did. I missed her, so much. I didn't know why. I thought I'd gotten over her, gotten rid of my feelings for her. Hot tears rolled down my face, telling me I was far from forgetting her. Furious, I threw the pillow across the room. I wasn't careful though, so it hit the lamp on my table and it fell over. The lightbulb collided with the floor and broke, but the lamp was okay. I watched it fall from my bed. I lay back down.
'Yah, Minho! What was that sound?' Jonghyun hyung was banging on my door. Onew hyung was very strict about privacy. When I didn't answer, Jonghyun hyung knocked even louder. It sounded as if he was going to break the door down any minute now. I didn't move, I didn't say a single word. I heard someone coming, I heard the footsteps stop just outside my door. Words exchanged, and I was sure I heard Onew hyung's voice speak her name.
There I was, months after the day she left me, lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Worse, I was crying. I haven't cried like this for years, dammit. If she could see me now... If you could see me now, what would you say? Would you be disappointed? Would you lie here with me until I stopped? Would you comfort me?
Would you even look at me?
Thoughts, memories, emotions. They flooded my brain, and I couldn't push them away. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind as best I could. I fell asleep.
Weeks have gone by since that day. It was a new year, and I began it single. I depended on my hyungs and Key. I didn't need a woman to feel complete. As it was, I was on my way to a private party with Key. We were going to perform Just A Dream by Nelly. I had been practicing since we first got booked. My English was much better now and Key had always been able to speak it. We reached the venue just before our performance. Manager hyung arranged it so that we would show up, perform, and leave. That way, we wouldn't be harrassed by the people at the party.
It didn't matter to me. What mattered was that I gave them all a killer performance. Private parties are few and far between for me to do with Key. Usually it's just me, or me and Jonghyun or Onew hyung. Me and Key barely ever got booked for a private party together. Key was honestly the most fun to perform with, since we were the same age and his persona onstage is really one of a kind.
We walked out on the stage and the crowd greeted us with a round of applause, a resounding cheer and wave upon wave of voices chanting mine and Key's names. We gave each other a look - one that earned resounding high-pitched screams from the female population of the crowd - and began our performance. My raps were coming easy and smooth, my pronunciation was going great so far. Key sang his parts really well, too. The crowd was energized and were cheering us on.
And that's when I saw her.
No, it couldn't be her.
Could it?
Oh Minho, you're such a pabo. Of course it's her.
I managed to finish the performance without a hitch, but I was itching to get offstage. I wanted to go see her. Screw Jonghyun hyung's advice. Screw it all. I wanted her. I needed her. And she was right there.
As soon as Key and I were allowed to get offstage, I ran off in her direction. She was in the outskirts of the crowd, on the left side. She wouldn't be hard to find. Not when every detail of her was etched into my memory. I pushed past many people, too many. How is it possible for one place to hold this many people? I couldn't see her at all. Where had she gone? I couldn't have made a mistake. It was her. I knew it was.
I pushed past a couple more people. My eyes scanned the place. Where did she go?
And
That's when I saw her. She looked the same. Everything about her. From her long brown hair, to her petite form, her little body, her long legs, her nose, her lips, her everything... I grabbed her arm and she faced me. 'Minho?' she muttered. There she was, right in front of me. After so many months, so many weeks, so many agonizingly long nights... She was with me. I missed her, so much. And now she was right here, in front of me.
I looked into her eyes. It had been too long. I brushed some hair out of her face, caressing her cheek with my hand as I did so. I pulled her closer. She didn't move, so I took it as a good sign. I put my hand under her chin, angling her head so I could kiss her. Slowly, I bent down and pressed my lips to hers. I missed this. I sucked at her bottom lip, nibbling a little until her mouth opened and my tongue explored it, tasting the inside of her mouth like I used to do everyday. I pulled away, and she smiled at me. 'Minho,' she said. 'I missed you.'
I smiled. 'I... I've missed you too.'
'YAH, MINHO, HURRY UP!' Key hit me over the head with such force that I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I couldn't feel her in my arms anymore. I couldn't hear the loud music. I could feel the pain on my head where Key hit me, and I could feel a bed I wasn't lying on a second ago. 'We have practice to get to. Now get up. HURRY!'
I sat up. My mind couldn't register what had just happened. I looked around my room. The pillow was still there where I had thrown it. The remains of the lightbulb were still scattered on the floor, the lamp was still knocked over. I looked at my hands. They remembered how vivid my dream was. They shook. I held her, only five seconds ago... And now she was gone. I buried my face in my hands.
I didn't notice the little notes that fell off my desk when the pillow hit it. They were scattered on the floor too,
along with the pieces of glass from the lightbulb.
Minho. Yeobo.
I know it's hard for you now, but
you have to work hard, okay?
I'll be waiting for you
everyday. I'll wait for your call,
I'll wait for you. I know
it's going to be hard for us, but
I want to go through with
this. With us. I believe in us,
yeobo. I believe in you. I will
wait for you, everyday. Until the end
of our lives.
I love you, forever, and for always, Choi Minho.
It was only just a dream.
oneshot.
I was thinking 'bout her, thinking 'bout me, thinking 'bout us, what we gonna be? Open my eyes, yeah - it was only just a dream.
I was wrapping up one of the Lucifer practices. I loved the song. It was an awesome track and it gave me the chance to prove myself not only as a rapper, but as a singer and dancer too. Everyone knows my moves in Juliette were nothing short of nothing and Ring Ding Dong wasn't that good for me either. The moves in Lucifer were ten times harder, at least and I wanted to get them perfect. Especially for the GDAs. Yep, award season came around again and we're performing Lucifer. The song did really well back when it was first released and is still doing good. We recieved lots of compliments and praise. But like I said, the moves in Lucifer are really something else. Needless to say, everyone was tired. One by one, the five of us wiped our sweat on our towels and left the dance studio.
Sweat stained the shirt I was wearing and the smell on me was - let's just not go there. I took my shirt off and stuffed it in a plastic bag. Key always nagged if you didn't put your dirty laundry in plastic bags. He never complained about actually doing the laundry, everything from loading the washing machine to ironing Taemin's school uniform, so we did as he told. I got into the shower and turned the water on. Cold water pelted me, refreshing me and waking my tired nerves. My very bones seemed to have drooped today.
I got out of the shower and toweled off. I tossed all my stuff into my duffel bag and swung it over my shoulder. Exiting the locker room, I looked up and down the hallway. Where to now? 'Minho? You want to walk back to the dorm together?' Key's voice. He was right behind me. I turned around to face him. 'I'm just going to go for a walk, clear my mind and all that.' I said. I wanted to smile at him, but my mouth grimaced instead. Key nodded. Was it just me, or was his smile decidedly more sympathetic than it usually was? I walked away.
Once outside the SM building, I walked toward the park. It was evening, just about starting to get dark. 'Oppa!' a girl's voice shrieked. I looked in her direction, smiled and waved and went on my way. I opened my bag, searching for my cap. I put it on and zipped my bag off. I didn't bother to look down or anything. Almost everyone I knew was shorter than me. Looking at the ground like an idiot everywhere I went would only make me look more suspicious.
'Like the Eiffel Tower, her beauty reigns supreme. Yet she cannot hide, she can never escape the spying eyes of the public.' her voice, saying those words. She was great with words. Her fingers carressed my cheek, her eyes looking into mine. The way she looked at me made me feel naked, exposed - like she was scouring my face for something but wasn't quite sure herself what it was. Her lips, her smile.
I shook my head. Now was not the time to remember all those little moments I shared with her. There was never a suitable time for anyone to address their first real heartbreak. And believe me, she was a real heartbreak. I walked on to the tiny bridge that stood over a pond. The pond was about ten feet in length on either side, but was uneven. Standing on the bridge, I watched as the fish swam by. I brought my hand up to massage the back of my neck.
My new haircut exposed the back of my neck. In a way, I was relieved to see my Ring Ding Dong hair gone. It was really far too long and was starting to make it hard for me to carry out my schedule. I couldn't concentrate on much, especially when I filmed Dream Team.
'Yah, Minho! Why don't you just cut it off?' her fingers were in my hair, softly pulling it into a tiny ponytail. I hated ponytails. Especially on me. 'You know manager hyung would eat me alive!' I said. I didn't say any more as she finally managed to tie up my hair. She stepped away from me. 'You look like a pabo.' she said. Her voice was void of emotion, no shame or anger. I smiled and put my arms around her waist. 'And you look beautiful.' I murmured. Her expression didn't change. 'Yah, you should leave. It's time for you to start filming, almost.' she said, releasing herself from my grip. 'I'm lucky I'm the pabo of such a beautiful lady.' I said, ignoring her comment. I smiled a small smile and left.
No, not anymore. I couldn't take the reminders the water, the park, the kids and not to mention the happy couples out and about held for me. I broke into a run. Screw laying low, I needed to get back to the dorm. It was either that or get driven crazy staying out here. I ran all the way back to the dorm, slamming the door open to the astonishment of Onew hyung. 'Had a nice walk?' Onew hyung asked, quite politely.
The look on my face, I could feel was not very polite. I struggled with myself. Key walked in. He took one look at me and left the room again, just before I walked past Onew hyung. I went into my room and sprawled out on my bed. I stared at the ceiling. My room was a safe place. She had never been in here. The only thing that was on my mind was how much I needed for her to get out of it. I turned over to lie on my stomach, burying my head in my pillow. Hey, wait a minute. Why does my pillowcase smell so much like her shampoo?
Damn that Key. Why can't he just stick to one detergent and leave it at that? Why was he so fickle minded? Why did he have to be the one in charge of the laundry? Why...
Why was my heart hurting again?
Were those - tears blurring my vision? I couldn't even see straight anymore. This... This was wrong. She left me months ago. She left me with no reason to miss her. Yet... Yet, I did. I missed her, so much. I didn't know why. I thought I'd gotten over her, gotten rid of my feelings for her. Hot tears rolled down my face, telling me I was far from forgetting her. Furious, I threw the pillow across the room. I wasn't careful though, so it hit the lamp on my table and it fell over. The lightbulb collided with the floor and broke, but the lamp was okay. I watched it fall from my bed. I lay back down.
'Yah, Minho! What was that sound?' Jonghyun hyung was banging on my door. Onew hyung was very strict about privacy. When I didn't answer, Jonghyun hyung knocked even louder. It sounded as if he was going to break the door down any minute now. I didn't move, I didn't say a single word. I heard someone coming, I heard the footsteps stop just outside my door. Words exchanged, and I was sure I heard Onew hyung's voice speak her name.
There I was, months after the day she left me, lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. Worse, I was crying. I haven't cried like this for years, dammit. If she could see me now... If you could see me now, what would you say? Would you be disappointed? Would you lie here with me until I stopped? Would you comfort me?
Would you even look at me?
Thoughts, memories, emotions. They flooded my brain, and I couldn't push them away. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind as best I could. I fell asleep.
Weeks have gone by since that day. It was a new year, and I began it single. I depended on my hyungs and Key. I didn't need a woman to feel complete. As it was, I was on my way to a private party with Key. We were going to perform Just A Dream by Nelly. I had been practicing since we first got booked. My English was much better now and Key had always been able to speak it. We reached the venue just before our performance. Manager hyung arranged it so that we would show up, perform, and leave. That way, we wouldn't be harrassed by the people at the party.
It didn't matter to me. What mattered was that I gave them all a killer performance. Private parties are few and far between for me to do with Key. Usually it's just me, or me and Jonghyun or Onew hyung. Me and Key barely ever got booked for a private party together. Key was honestly the most fun to perform with, since we were the same age and his persona onstage is really one of a kind.
We walked out on the stage and the crowd greeted us with a round of applause, a resounding cheer and wave upon wave of voices chanting mine and Key's names. We gave each other a look - one that earned resounding high-pitched screams from the female population of the crowd - and began our performance. My raps were coming easy and smooth, my pronunciation was going great so far. Key sang his parts really well, too. The crowd was energized and were cheering us on.
And that's when I saw her.
No, it couldn't be her.
Could it?
Oh Minho, you're such a pabo. Of course it's her.
I managed to finish the performance without a hitch, but I was itching to get offstage. I wanted to go see her. Screw Jonghyun hyung's advice. Screw it all. I wanted her. I needed her. And she was right there.
As soon as Key and I were allowed to get offstage, I ran off in her direction. She was in the outskirts of the crowd, on the left side. She wouldn't be hard to find. Not when every detail of her was etched into my memory. I pushed past many people, too many. How is it possible for one place to hold this many people? I couldn't see her at all. Where had she gone? I couldn't have made a mistake. It was her. I knew it was.
I pushed past a couple more people. My eyes scanned the place. Where did she go?
And
That's when I saw her. She looked the same. Everything about her. From her long brown hair, to her petite form, her little body, her long legs, her nose, her lips, her everything... I grabbed her arm and she faced me. 'Minho?' she muttered. There she was, right in front of me. After so many months, so many weeks, so many agonizingly long nights... She was with me. I missed her, so much. And now she was right here, in front of me.
I looked into her eyes. It had been too long. I brushed some hair out of her face, caressing her cheek with my hand as I did so. I pulled her closer. She didn't move, so I took it as a good sign. I put my hand under her chin, angling her head so I could kiss her. Slowly, I bent down and pressed my lips to hers. I missed this. I sucked at her bottom lip, nibbling a little until her mouth opened and my tongue explored it, tasting the inside of her mouth like I used to do everyday. I pulled away, and she smiled at me. 'Minho,' she said. 'I missed you.'
I smiled. 'I... I've missed you too.'
'YAH, MINHO, HURRY UP!' Key hit me over the head with such force that I closed my eyes. When I opened them again, I couldn't feel her in my arms anymore. I couldn't hear the loud music. I could feel the pain on my head where Key hit me, and I could feel a bed I wasn't lying on a second ago. 'We have practice to get to. Now get up. HURRY!'
I sat up. My mind couldn't register what had just happened. I looked around my room. The pillow was still there where I had thrown it. The remains of the lightbulb were still scattered on the floor, the lamp was still knocked over. I looked at my hands. They remembered how vivid my dream was. They shook. I held her, only five seconds ago... And now she was gone. I buried my face in my hands.
I didn't notice the little notes that fell off my desk when the pillow hit it. They were scattered on the floor too,
along with the pieces of glass from the lightbulb.
Minho. Yeobo.
I know it's hard for you now, but
you have to work hard, okay?
I'll be waiting for you
everyday. I'll wait for your call,
I'll wait for you. I know
it's going to be hard for us, but
I want to go through with
this. With us. I believe in us,
yeobo. I believe in you. I will
wait for you, everyday. Until the end
of our lives.
I love you, forever, and for always, Choi Minho.
It was only just a dream.