dissonance.

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dissonance. [Hunhan, Sekai; pg-13; au]
830w.

There are some things Sehun just doesn't want to know for the moment.


The Theory of Cognitive Dissonance is the theory that asserts that humans dislike inconsistency, and distort situations and choices as they seek to eliminate it.

Mundane isn’t a word Oh Sehun likes to associate himself with. He doesn’t like how it implies that he’s lost his vigour, his zest for life, doesn’t like the way people’s noses wrinkle as they say it nor does he like the feel of it rolling off his tongue. And yet the life Sehun leads could arguably be the very definition of the word - everything so routine, everything the same, everything so hopelessly mundane. He works a stable 9-5 job that pays enough for him to live in a comfortable apartment in the city with his boyfriend of seven years, Luhan, and they are the textbook example of two lost souls who found their other half in high school, fell madly in love and haven’t looked back since. It hurts Sehun’s (admittedly large) pride to admit, but his life has become the very thing he dreads - mundane.

(That is, until his boss introduces him to his new coworker, Kim Jongin. His boss rattles off about a hundred words a minute at Sehun - something about how they’ll be working together as part of the new product launch team for the next six months, of which Sehun absorbs absolutely nothing because Jongin’s got skin that perfect shade of tan and lips that make Sehun wonder if they’ll feel as soft on his as they are on his eyes.)

On Saturday mornings Sehun and Luhan like to sleep in. Sehun always wakes up earlier than Luhan, though, and in the quiet of their peaceful bedroom, he takes his time to admire the man he’d fallen in love with all those years ago. The sunlight always manages to stream in through the curtains that Luhan never quite closes properly the night before and it’s gentle and bathes his sleeping face in a soft, almost angelic light. It’s times like these that Sehun involuntarily takes a slow inhalation of breath, because Luhan is beautiful - has the kind of beauty that makes Sehun wonder why the older chose him. It’s when he’s staring in that lovesick kind of way at Luhan that the older chooses to flutter his eyelids open and whisper a quiet good morning at the younger, before propping himself up on one elbow and giving him a kiss, one that reeks of morning breath but there are silent i love yous pressed between their tongues, so neither of them really mind.

(The Saturday mornings he shares with Luhan worm their way to the forefront of his mind just as Jongin shoves his tongue down Sehun’s throat, and it’s the wrong kind of guilt that Sehun feels when he tries to push Jongin off him, only to send a hasty text to Luhan about him coming home late before curling his hand around a tanned neck and pulling Jongin in for a proper kiss. The Saturday morning moments he has with Luhan are just those - reserved for Saturday mornings, but right now it’s Thursday night and all their coworkers have gone home and Jongin’s got him pressed up against the wall of the copier room and Sehun’s got no time to think about doe eyes and porcelain skin because dark ones and tanned skin is all he can really see, and a part of him thinks it’s okay - Jongin can have his Thursday evenings because he’ll always give Luhan his Saturday mornings.)

Sometimes Sehun stops to think how sick it is that he’s got an extra bounce in his step and his eyes have taken on a new shine since he’s started this whole affair with Jongin. The thrill of possibly getting caught grinding against each other in an office bathroom cubicle sends adrenaline pumping through his veins and Sehun revels in his escapes from the uniformity of the ‘real world’, because with Jongin - with Jongin Sehun never really knows where he’ll find himself next, because every new day promises new heights. But Sehun knows that the height at which he soars will equal the low to which he’ll plummet the moment he opens the door to the apartment he shares with Luhan and gets all the breath knocked out of him as the older ambushes him in a hug, peppering kisses along the side of his neck with barely audible whispers of ‘I missed you’s.

(And it strikes Sehun as odd because Luhan never used to do that - never waited by the door for Sehun’s return, not even back when they were lovedrunk teenagers overwhelmed by how it felt to love someone else as much as they loved themselves. But Sehun puts it down to stress and pressure at work, ignoring the slightly hollow look Luhan’s eyes take on as he presses a half-hearted kiss to the older’s lips, because Luhan doesn’t know, Sehun, let’s not be silly. Of course Luhan doesn’t know.)

(He does.)

A/N: There's an edit that goes with this, done just after I finally washed my car and after I found out Monday's a public holiday. So happy. So feels. Also I now ship Xiuhan. Help.