where i first saw you.
Dec. 26th, 2010 12:10 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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caressingflameswhere i first saw you. [Onew x OC; pg]
oneshot.
Going back to the corner where I first saw you.
2006 -
Summer. My favorite season. Where the days were hot and sunny and the nights cool and moist.
I looked around the little restaurant, breathing in the scent of it all around me. The food, the drink, the people. Everything. I felt at home, I felt cozy. I felt content, for no reason at all.
The bell above the door jingled as it opened and closed. A man - or should I say boy? - walked through and sat down at a table by himself. He had small eyes and a nice smile. He smiled at the waitress who took his order. It immediately made me grin to myself. He looked up and saw me grinning. And, like the idiot I was, I didn't turn away. Instead, I made eye contact.
Thankfully, he didn't find it weird that some girl was just grinning at him. He grinned back. I felt myself flush, and dropped my eyes to the plate in front of me. I mysteriously lost my appetite. Is that boy still looking at me? I thought. I sneaked a tiny glance his way. He was still looking at me, and this time he got up and joined me at my table.
Um, what?
"Hey," he said. I was shocked. A stranger smiles at you, stares at you and you just walk over here, sit down and say 'hey'? I looked him straight in the eye. Whatever. When he looks like that, it shouldn't really matter. "Hi." I said. "My name is Jinki. You can call me Onew. I am 18 this year." he said, a smile on his face. Ah, so he was my dongsaeng. Which was the purpose of his age declaration, I suppose. "My name is Hae Mi. I'm your noona," I said. I shouldn't feel so nervous around him, especially as he was a stranger and a dongsaeng.
As soon as the word 'noona' came out of my mouth, he turned bright red. "Oh - ah - sorry, noona." he said, immediately switching over to formal speech. I wasn't that much of a noona. I'm only 20. I'm not that old. "No, it's okay Onew. It only means I look young. Please speak comfortably." I tried my best to give one of those smiles that sunbaes always give their juniors.
"Oh, thank you. Um, noona, I was wondering actually, if you would like to come out on a date with me sometime?" he said. Wow, he was a fast mover. Judging by the speed of his words though, it didn't seem to me like he intended for it to come out the way it did. "Um... Sure,' I smiled. I was the older in this situation, anyway. It was important for me to establish that. I wanted to keep my cool.
He smiled back, his eyes almost disappearing. "Great. I'll meet you here, say about 7 tomorrow?" he asked. What a cute kid. We chatted a bit, eating our food and laughing at each other's jokes. Onew seemed like a really nice guy. We finished our meal and paid the bill - going Dutch, because I refused to allow him to pay for my food - and stepped outside. It was a coldish night, but I always liked the cold.
"So..." Onew said. I felt his hands on mine. What a bold kid. I saw his cheeks turn red. I'm pretty sure I wasn't so pasty myself. "Yes?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" he lifted one corner of his mouth into a nervous half-smile. I looked up at the sky, dark and sprinkled with stars. I pouted my lips a little. "Hmm..." I murmured. "Alright."
He gave me a huge smile and squeezed my hands. "Great." he said, a huge grin spreading across his face. He let go of my hands and waved goodbye. I felt a little sad at the cold that greeted my fingertips but brushed it off. Get yourself together, Hae Mi. He's just a boy. I smiled to myself, thinking about his innocent traits. He was just a cute boy.
The next day I spent a total of 4 hours thinking about what to wear. I thought that getting ready at 2 was much too early, but my friend Jihyun told me to better be safe than sorry. Luckily I followed her advice. Who knew going on a date with a dongsaeng would be so... Nerve-wrecking? I honestly never felt this way with oppas. But something about Onew... Something about him told me he was different.
It was 630 and I was about to arrive at the cafe we had arranged to meet at. I was still on the bus, about 10 meters away when I noticed Onew standing outside the cafe with... Flowers? Oh my gosh, the little boy bought me flowers! How adorable. I pulled out my compact and quickly observed myself in the small mirror. The bus stopped and I hastily put away my compact and got off the bus.
"Ah, Hae Mi-sshi!" Onew greeted me cheerfully. "Annyeonghaesaeyo, Onew-sshi." I said, in return. "Where are we going tonight?" I asked.
"Oh, we are going to go for a walk in the park, and then dinner. And then I'm going to show noona a surprise." he said. I nodded. "Oh, here you go," Onew handed me the flowers. Upon closer inspection, I found it to be a single red rose. The florist he bought it from must have taken pride in her craft, because I really thought it was a giant bunch when I first saw him. "Thank you, Onew." I gave him one of my biggest smiles. I love roses. They're my favorite flower, especially the red ones.
His cheeks flushed and he started scratching the back of his neck nervously. Slowly, he offered his arm to me and I hooked mine through it. I was more comfortable than he, judging by the color of his face. "Do you like the flower?" he asked. "Yes, very much. Red roses are my favorite." I said, smiling as I took a deep breath of the scent. "I picked that because it was so pretty, sitting in the shop," Onew muttered. I wasn't meant to hear it, but I did. I looked at him. "It... It reminded me of you. You're really... Pretty, noona."
It was my turn to blush.
The rest of the date was spent pretty much like how we talked yesterday. I discovered that Onew was addicted to chicken, and had dreams of becoming a singer. I also learned that he was actually really quiet. We walked through the park holding hands, exchanging jokes and ignoring some of the senior citizens who didn't approve of skinship in public.
We got to the small bridge they had erected over a little pond. The pond was filled with fish, and a girl in a uniform asked if we would like to feed it. Onew nodded vigorously, so we both got some fish food and started throwing it out at the fish. "Isn't that the life,' I sighed, throwing a little more food into the water. "What do you mean, 'the life', Hae Mi?" Onew asked. His voice suddenly went quiet. "Well, if you think about it, they're famous, get fed and never have to worry about stuff like where their next meal is coming from." I said, wistfully. Onew looked at me. "Is that really how you view things, noona?" he asked. I looked at him and nodded.
We left the bridge and started walking hand in hand to a chicken restaurant. Figures. I snickered a little to myself as our food arrived and his expression completely changed. I never knew anyone could love chicken that much. We ate and made comfortable conversation, laughing and smiling at each other. After we finished eating, Onew paid the bill and we walked out of the restaurant.
"Noona... Remember the surprise I talked about earlier?" his voice was suddenly quiet. I nodded. He smiled and pulled me back to the park. There was a big lake there, man-made but beautiful all the same. Quite a number of people were gathered along its banks, excitedly chattering to each other. "What is it?" I asked. Was there going to be a water gymnastics show? That would be fun. "Shh, noona." he shushed me. We found a comfortable patch of grass and sat down. By now it was getting colder, coupled with the fact that we were near water, I was really, REALLY cold.
Onew noticed and took off his jacket. "Yah," I said softly. "You're going to catch a cold!"
"I won't catch cold just because of one summer night's breeze, noona." Onew said. Ten minutes passed where we sat in complete silence. Funnily enough, it wasn't awkward for me at all. It felt normal. "Ah - it's almost time," Onew whispered. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, causing me to put my head on his shoulder and look up at the sky. Suddenly, fireworks exploded all over the night sky, colouring the dark space with vibrance and life. "Wah!" I exclaimed, feeling for once that I was the younger in this budding relationship. "It's beautiful!" I said, not bothering to keep my voice down.
Onew laughed at me. He turned his head and softly kissed the top of mine. I was surprised, but not in a bad way. As soon as I felt him turn away, my head snapped up. "What was that for?" I asked, pretending to be annoyed. "The fireworks may be beautiful, noona, but they are nothing compared to you. You're so pretty. So beautiful." his voice was low and sounded really manly, enough to make me blush. I smile crept up and curved my lips, matching the one that was on his face. He leaned in and... We shared our first kiss, outside, under the stars and the fireworks.
---
2008 -
Ah, May. Just a little more to go until it's summer again, my favorite time of year. I walked down the shops, not really having anywhere to go. I looked around. All the music shops were plastered with posters advertising the new boy band from SM Ent, who were to debut this month. I tried not to look, but his face was everywhere. A huge smile, with four other boys, posing under a neon sign that said 'SHINee'. Overall the guys were pretty cute.
My mind flashed back to late last year.
"What do you mean, we have to break up?" I asked tearfully, not able to believe my ears. "Just that. We have to break up." he answered, no emotion showing from his voice. His back was turned and I couldn't see his face. How could he be so cold? Why was he just leaving me like that? "But... Why?" I asked, my voice getting steadier, but louder at the same time. "Because. I have to debut in May. Soo Man hyung says that my contract officially begins in January." he replied.
"Contract? What does that have to do with us?" I asked. By this time I was crying my heart out, only hoping that he understood my tear-drowned wails. "It means... I have to stop seeing you. It's writted out, really clearly. I'm... I'm sorry, Hae Mi. But this is the end." he said. He walked out of my door, leaving me crumpled on the floor, sobbing like my heart would break.
Who am I kidding? My heart was already broken.
I shut out the flashback, trying my best not to remember the days I'd spent broken after he'd left me. I gradually came to understand that he really was only doing it for his career. He didn't want to leave me, but he had to. That was my belief. Jihyun told me that if he really wanted to be with me, he'd have done it somehow. And it wasn't as if he didn't have my number. Was it so hard to make a phone call once in a while? I couldn't defend him after she said that. Why? Because she was right.
I shook my head, freed it from the cobwebs of the past. I noticed that I was in front of a TV store, and had about ten screens announcing the debut stage for SHINee. My breath caught in my throat. I was rooted to the ground, not really wanting to listen to the song but unable to move either way. I watched as the MCs excitedly announced the debut stage. The lights focused on the five boys on the stage and the performance began.
And I saw him.
Hearing his voice after so many months... I missed those times when he used to sing for me, for only me. When he would jokingly string together a melody, make up a lyric, and sing to me. His arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me from behind. His face buried in my hair, snuggling against me. How much I missed him. Unconciously I reached out and touched the screen when he came on, when the camera zoomed in on him. His innocent face, seeming much too small for the hat on his head... "change my everything..." he sang, tears sprung up to my eyes as the camera zoomed back out to feature the entire group again.
"I keep thinking about you..." the last line hit me hard. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. It was probably a pre-recorded cut. I wiped my tears on the back of my hand. My phone beeped, indicating I just recieved a text message. I took it out and read it. It was from Onew.
Turn around.
Two words. After five months, he finally sent me a text message. Consisting of only two words. Should I really turn around? I thought. I took a deep breath and spinned 180 degrees. I was surprised to find myself in front of the cafe. The same cafe I met him at a couple of years ago...
And then I saw him.
He stared blankly at me from across the street, standing rooted to the spot. It was all I could do not to run to him. Jihyun had always told me he didn't deserve to be forgiven, not after what he put me through. I had agreed with her then and promised not to let him back into my life.
A small smile crept up his lips. The sight of it - the sight of him made me melt all over again. Like it was back in the summer of 06, when we shared our first kiss, on the grass near the lake...
He hit something on his phone and gestured for me to look at mine. I obliged, reading the text he just sent me.
Noona, you look so pretty today.
I have missed you so much lately.
I'm so sorry for everything that I have
caused. For everything that I have put
you through. I never meant for it to
happen that way, but it did.
Noona, I want you to know that when I
first heard the song, the only person
I could think of was you. I want you to
know that whenever I perform the song,
whenever you hear it, I am singing for
you, to you, with you on those nights we
shared cuddled together when it was cold
and lonely outside. You are my first love,
noona. A part of me wants to forget you,
wants to let you go and move on... But a
bigger part of me knows that you will always
be there at the back of my mind, that a part
of my heart belongs with you, will always
belong to you.
Remember that night by the lake with the
fireworks. I knew I loved you the moment we
kissed. I will cherish that night forever.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked up.
But it was too late. He was gone.
My phone beeped again. It was another text message from him.
I miss you, Hae Mi. I love you.
Now, and forever.
Lee Jinki.
oneshot.
Going back to the corner where I first saw you.
2006 -
Summer. My favorite season. Where the days were hot and sunny and the nights cool and moist.
I looked around the little restaurant, breathing in the scent of it all around me. The food, the drink, the people. Everything. I felt at home, I felt cozy. I felt content, for no reason at all.
The bell above the door jingled as it opened and closed. A man - or should I say boy? - walked through and sat down at a table by himself. He had small eyes and a nice smile. He smiled at the waitress who took his order. It immediately made me grin to myself. He looked up and saw me grinning. And, like the idiot I was, I didn't turn away. Instead, I made eye contact.
Thankfully, he didn't find it weird that some girl was just grinning at him. He grinned back. I felt myself flush, and dropped my eyes to the plate in front of me. I mysteriously lost my appetite. Is that boy still looking at me? I thought. I sneaked a tiny glance his way. He was still looking at me, and this time he got up and joined me at my table.
Um, what?
"Hey," he said. I was shocked. A stranger smiles at you, stares at you and you just walk over here, sit down and say 'hey'? I looked him straight in the eye. Whatever. When he looks like that, it shouldn't really matter. "Hi." I said. "My name is Jinki. You can call me Onew. I am 18 this year." he said, a smile on his face. Ah, so he was my dongsaeng. Which was the purpose of his age declaration, I suppose. "My name is Hae Mi. I'm your noona," I said. I shouldn't feel so nervous around him, especially as he was a stranger and a dongsaeng.
As soon as the word 'noona' came out of my mouth, he turned bright red. "Oh - ah - sorry, noona." he said, immediately switching over to formal speech. I wasn't that much of a noona. I'm only 20. I'm not that old. "No, it's okay Onew. It only means I look young. Please speak comfortably." I tried my best to give one of those smiles that sunbaes always give their juniors.
"Oh, thank you. Um, noona, I was wondering actually, if you would like to come out on a date with me sometime?" he said. Wow, he was a fast mover. Judging by the speed of his words though, it didn't seem to me like he intended for it to come out the way it did. "Um... Sure,' I smiled. I was the older in this situation, anyway. It was important for me to establish that. I wanted to keep my cool.
He smiled back, his eyes almost disappearing. "Great. I'll meet you here, say about 7 tomorrow?" he asked. What a cute kid. We chatted a bit, eating our food and laughing at each other's jokes. Onew seemed like a really nice guy. We finished our meal and paid the bill - going Dutch, because I refused to allow him to pay for my food - and stepped outside. It was a coldish night, but I always liked the cold.
"So..." Onew said. I felt his hands on mine. What a bold kid. I saw his cheeks turn red. I'm pretty sure I wasn't so pasty myself. "Yes?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. "I'll see you tomorrow, then?" he lifted one corner of his mouth into a nervous half-smile. I looked up at the sky, dark and sprinkled with stars. I pouted my lips a little. "Hmm..." I murmured. "Alright."
He gave me a huge smile and squeezed my hands. "Great." he said, a huge grin spreading across his face. He let go of my hands and waved goodbye. I felt a little sad at the cold that greeted my fingertips but brushed it off. Get yourself together, Hae Mi. He's just a boy. I smiled to myself, thinking about his innocent traits. He was just a cute boy.
The next day I spent a total of 4 hours thinking about what to wear. I thought that getting ready at 2 was much too early, but my friend Jihyun told me to better be safe than sorry. Luckily I followed her advice. Who knew going on a date with a dongsaeng would be so... Nerve-wrecking? I honestly never felt this way with oppas. But something about Onew... Something about him told me he was different.
It was 630 and I was about to arrive at the cafe we had arranged to meet at. I was still on the bus, about 10 meters away when I noticed Onew standing outside the cafe with... Flowers? Oh my gosh, the little boy bought me flowers! How adorable. I pulled out my compact and quickly observed myself in the small mirror. The bus stopped and I hastily put away my compact and got off the bus.
"Ah, Hae Mi-sshi!" Onew greeted me cheerfully. "Annyeonghaesaeyo, Onew-sshi." I said, in return. "Where are we going tonight?" I asked.
"Oh, we are going to go for a walk in the park, and then dinner. And then I'm going to show noona a surprise." he said. I nodded. "Oh, here you go," Onew handed me the flowers. Upon closer inspection, I found it to be a single red rose. The florist he bought it from must have taken pride in her craft, because I really thought it was a giant bunch when I first saw him. "Thank you, Onew." I gave him one of my biggest smiles. I love roses. They're my favorite flower, especially the red ones.
His cheeks flushed and he started scratching the back of his neck nervously. Slowly, he offered his arm to me and I hooked mine through it. I was more comfortable than he, judging by the color of his face. "Do you like the flower?" he asked. "Yes, very much. Red roses are my favorite." I said, smiling as I took a deep breath of the scent. "I picked that because it was so pretty, sitting in the shop," Onew muttered. I wasn't meant to hear it, but I did. I looked at him. "It... It reminded me of you. You're really... Pretty, noona."
It was my turn to blush.
The rest of the date was spent pretty much like how we talked yesterday. I discovered that Onew was addicted to chicken, and had dreams of becoming a singer. I also learned that he was actually really quiet. We walked through the park holding hands, exchanging jokes and ignoring some of the senior citizens who didn't approve of skinship in public.
We got to the small bridge they had erected over a little pond. The pond was filled with fish, and a girl in a uniform asked if we would like to feed it. Onew nodded vigorously, so we both got some fish food and started throwing it out at the fish. "Isn't that the life,' I sighed, throwing a little more food into the water. "What do you mean, 'the life', Hae Mi?" Onew asked. His voice suddenly went quiet. "Well, if you think about it, they're famous, get fed and never have to worry about stuff like where their next meal is coming from." I said, wistfully. Onew looked at me. "Is that really how you view things, noona?" he asked. I looked at him and nodded.
We left the bridge and started walking hand in hand to a chicken restaurant. Figures. I snickered a little to myself as our food arrived and his expression completely changed. I never knew anyone could love chicken that much. We ate and made comfortable conversation, laughing and smiling at each other. After we finished eating, Onew paid the bill and we walked out of the restaurant.
"Noona... Remember the surprise I talked about earlier?" his voice was suddenly quiet. I nodded. He smiled and pulled me back to the park. There was a big lake there, man-made but beautiful all the same. Quite a number of people were gathered along its banks, excitedly chattering to each other. "What is it?" I asked. Was there going to be a water gymnastics show? That would be fun. "Shh, noona." he shushed me. We found a comfortable patch of grass and sat down. By now it was getting colder, coupled with the fact that we were near water, I was really, REALLY cold.
Onew noticed and took off his jacket. "Yah," I said softly. "You're going to catch a cold!"
"I won't catch cold just because of one summer night's breeze, noona." Onew said. Ten minutes passed where we sat in complete silence. Funnily enough, it wasn't awkward for me at all. It felt normal. "Ah - it's almost time," Onew whispered. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him, causing me to put my head on his shoulder and look up at the sky. Suddenly, fireworks exploded all over the night sky, colouring the dark space with vibrance and life. "Wah!" I exclaimed, feeling for once that I was the younger in this budding relationship. "It's beautiful!" I said, not bothering to keep my voice down.
Onew laughed at me. He turned his head and softly kissed the top of mine. I was surprised, but not in a bad way. As soon as I felt him turn away, my head snapped up. "What was that for?" I asked, pretending to be annoyed. "The fireworks may be beautiful, noona, but they are nothing compared to you. You're so pretty. So beautiful." his voice was low and sounded really manly, enough to make me blush. I smile crept up and curved my lips, matching the one that was on his face. He leaned in and... We shared our first kiss, outside, under the stars and the fireworks.
---
2008 -
Ah, May. Just a little more to go until it's summer again, my favorite time of year. I walked down the shops, not really having anywhere to go. I looked around. All the music shops were plastered with posters advertising the new boy band from SM Ent, who were to debut this month. I tried not to look, but his face was everywhere. A huge smile, with four other boys, posing under a neon sign that said 'SHINee'. Overall the guys were pretty cute.
My mind flashed back to late last year.
"What do you mean, we have to break up?" I asked tearfully, not able to believe my ears. "Just that. We have to break up." he answered, no emotion showing from his voice. His back was turned and I couldn't see his face. How could he be so cold? Why was he just leaving me like that? "But... Why?" I asked, my voice getting steadier, but louder at the same time. "Because. I have to debut in May. Soo Man hyung says that my contract officially begins in January." he replied.
"Contract? What does that have to do with us?" I asked. By this time I was crying my heart out, only hoping that he understood my tear-drowned wails. "It means... I have to stop seeing you. It's writted out, really clearly. I'm... I'm sorry, Hae Mi. But this is the end." he said. He walked out of my door, leaving me crumpled on the floor, sobbing like my heart would break.
Who am I kidding? My heart was already broken.
I shut out the flashback, trying my best not to remember the days I'd spent broken after he'd left me. I gradually came to understand that he really was only doing it for his career. He didn't want to leave me, but he had to. That was my belief. Jihyun told me that if he really wanted to be with me, he'd have done it somehow. And it wasn't as if he didn't have my number. Was it so hard to make a phone call once in a while? I couldn't defend him after she said that. Why? Because she was right.
I shook my head, freed it from the cobwebs of the past. I noticed that I was in front of a TV store, and had about ten screens announcing the debut stage for SHINee. My breath caught in my throat. I was rooted to the ground, not really wanting to listen to the song but unable to move either way. I watched as the MCs excitedly announced the debut stage. The lights focused on the five boys on the stage and the performance began.
And I saw him.
Hearing his voice after so many months... I missed those times when he used to sing for me, for only me. When he would jokingly string together a melody, make up a lyric, and sing to me. His arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me from behind. His face buried in my hair, snuggling against me. How much I missed him. Unconciously I reached out and touched the screen when he came on, when the camera zoomed in on him. His innocent face, seeming much too small for the hat on his head... "change my everything..." he sang, tears sprung up to my eyes as the camera zoomed back out to feature the entire group again.
"I keep thinking about you..." the last line hit me hard. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. It was probably a pre-recorded cut. I wiped my tears on the back of my hand. My phone beeped, indicating I just recieved a text message. I took it out and read it. It was from Onew.
Turn around.
Two words. After five months, he finally sent me a text message. Consisting of only two words. Should I really turn around? I thought. I took a deep breath and spinned 180 degrees. I was surprised to find myself in front of the cafe. The same cafe I met him at a couple of years ago...
And then I saw him.
He stared blankly at me from across the street, standing rooted to the spot. It was all I could do not to run to him. Jihyun had always told me he didn't deserve to be forgiven, not after what he put me through. I had agreed with her then and promised not to let him back into my life.
A small smile crept up his lips. The sight of it - the sight of him made me melt all over again. Like it was back in the summer of 06, when we shared our first kiss, on the grass near the lake...
He hit something on his phone and gestured for me to look at mine. I obliged, reading the text he just sent me.
Noona, you look so pretty today.
I have missed you so much lately.
I'm so sorry for everything that I have
caused. For everything that I have put
you through. I never meant for it to
happen that way, but it did.
Noona, I want you to know that when I
first heard the song, the only person
I could think of was you. I want you to
know that whenever I perform the song,
whenever you hear it, I am singing for
you, to you, with you on those nights we
shared cuddled together when it was cold
and lonely outside. You are my first love,
noona. A part of me wants to forget you,
wants to let you go and move on... But a
bigger part of me knows that you will always
be there at the back of my mind, that a part
of my heart belongs with you, will always
belong to you.
Remember that night by the lake with the
fireworks. I knew I loved you the moment we
kissed. I will cherish that night forever.
Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked up.
But it was too late. He was gone.
My phone beeped again. It was another text message from him.
I miss you, Hae Mi. I love you.
Now, and forever.
Lee Jinki.
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